One of the biggest challenges in youth ministry isn’t getting students to show up to church, attend youth group, or even go to camp. It’s helping them develop a faith that actually belongs to them. Think about it. We have students who know all the right answers. They know the worship songs, can quote John 3:16, and have mastered the art of looking deeply spiritual during small group discussions. (You know the look. Head slightly tilted, thoughtful nod, maybe even an occasional “That’s good.”)
But here’s the question: Do they actually believe what they believe, or are they just borrowing their faith from someone else?
Maybe it’s their parents’ faith. Maybe it’s your faith, the main youth worker. Maybe it’s the faith of that really passionate camp speaker who somehow convinced 200 teenagers to cry during the final worship song on cry night. None of those influences are bad. In fact, they’re incredibly important! But eventually, students need to move from “I believe this because someone told me” to “I believe this because I’ve personally encountered Jesus and decided to follow Him.” And as youth workers, that’s one of our most important jobs.
Borrowed Faith Isn’t Necessarily Bad
Before we go any further, let’s acknowledge something: borrowed faith is often where faith begins. Most of us were introduced to Jesus because someone else shared their faith with us. Parents, grandparents, pastors, mentors, or friends helped us understand who Jesus is. That’s a good thing! Paul even celebrates this in 2 Timothy 1:5 when he reminds Timothy of the sincere faith that first lived in his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice. But notice something important. Paul doesn’t simply celebrate the faith of Timothy’s family. He recognizes that same faith now living in Timothy.
The goal isn’t to eliminate spiritual influence. It’s to help students move from inherited faith to personally embraced faith.
So how do we actually do that? Here are a few practical things we can start doing in our youth ministries.
1. Stop Giving Students All the Answers
Main youth workers love answering questions. Let’s be honest, some of us love it a little too much. A student asks a question about God, and suddenly we’ve launched into a 15-minute theological explanation complete with three Greek words, an Old Testament reference, and an illustration involving a cheeseburger. Meanwhile, the student just wanted to know if their dog would be in heaven. But what if we didn’t always rush to answer?
Instead of immediately giving students the answer, try responding with questions like:
- “That’s a great question. What do you think?”
- “Where do you think we could find an answer in Scripture?”
- “Why do you think that matters?”
- “What would change in your life if that were true?”
Students need to learn how to think biblically, not just repeat biblical answers. This doesn’t mean we avoid teaching truth. It means we help students discover, understand, and apply that truth for themselves. Sometimes the best thing a youth leader can do is stop talking long enough for a student to start thinking.
2. Make Room for Doubts and Difficult Questions
Somewhere along the way, students can get the impression that good Christians don’t ask difficult questions. So when they start wrestling with things like suffering, sexuality, science, other religions, or whether the Bible can be trusted, they feel like something is wrong with their faith. And if they don’t feel safe asking those questions at church, guess where they’ll go?
The internet or even AI.
And while the internet is a wonderful place to learn how to fix a dishwasher, it’s not always the best place to develop your theology. We need to create environments where students can ask honest questions without feeling judged, embarrassed, or immediately corrected. One of my favorite responses to a difficult question is simply, “I’m glad you asked that.” We don’t need to pretend we have every answer. Sometimes saying, “I don’t know, but let’s figure it out together,” models a healthier faith than pretending we know everything. Look at Thomas in John 20:24–29. He struggled to believe the resurrection without seeing Jesus for himself. Jesus didn’t ignore Thomas’s doubts. He met him in the middle of them and invited him to believe.
A faith that has wrestled with difficult questions can become stronger than a faith that has never been challenged.
Don’t be afraid of your students’ questions. Be more concerned if they never feel comfortable asking them. I even do a Bible study outside of our normal youth nights where students just come with their questions, comments, or even doubts and we all wrestle and discuss together. Not to find all the answers that night but give them the tools on how to even look for answers when the questions or doubts do come up.
3. Give Students Ownership, Not Just Attendance
It’s easy to measure youth ministry by attendance. How many students came Sunday night? How many registered for camp? How many showed up for the pizza party? And don’t get me wrong. I love a packed youth room as much as anyone. Especially when we ordered enough pizza for everyone. But attendance and ownership are two very different things. A student can attend youth group for seven years and never take responsibility for their own spiritual growth. That’s why we need to give students opportunities to actually lead and serve.
Let them lead a small group discussion. Give them opportunities to share their testimony. Invite them to help plan an outreach event. Challenge them to pray for a friend and initiate a spiritual conversation. Put them on the worship band!
And here’s the difficult part: Let them do things imperfectly.
Their devotional might not be as polished as yours. Their prayer might be awkward. Their outreach idea might need some serious adjustments. That’s okay! We aren’t trying to create professional teenage pastors. We’re trying to develop disciples who understand that God can use them right now. Paul tells Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12 not to let anyone look down on him because he is young, but to set an example for other believers. Students don’t have to wait until adulthood to make a difference in God’s Kingdom.
4. Teach Them to Follow Jesus Outside of Youth Group
One of the dangers of youth ministry is unintentionally creating students who are spiritually dependent on our programs. They worship when the band plays. They read Scripture when we tell them to open their Bibles. They pray when their small group leader asks them to. But what happens on Thursday afternoon when nobody is reminding them to follow Jesus? We need to help students develop spiritual habits that don’t require a youth pastor standing nearby. And we should keep it practical.
Challenge students to spend five minutes a day reading Scripture and praying. Teach them how to read a passage and ask simple questions: What does this teach me about God? What does this reveal about people? How should I respond? Encourage them to pray for specific friends throughout the week. Help them recognize opportunities to practice generosity, forgiveness, and obedience in their everyday lives. Then, when they come back to youth group, ask them about it.
Not just, “Did you read your Bible?” But, “What has God been teaching you this week?”
John 15:4 reminds us to remain in Jesus. Notice Jesus doesn’t say, “Remain in your youth pastor” or “Remain in your Wednesday night program.”
Our ministries should help students connect with Jesus, not become the connection they can’t live without.
5. Let Students See Your Real Faith
Students are pretty good at spotting fake. They can tell when we’re giving them the polished Sunday-school version of our lives. Now, this doesn’t mean youth workers should turn every message into a personal counseling session. Please don’t make your eighth graders your therapists. But appropriate vulnerability matters. Let students hear about times you’ve struggled to trust God. Share how you’ve had to make difficult decisions. Talk about moments when following Jesus cost you something. And when you make a mistake, own it.
Students need to see that mature faith isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about continually trusting and following Jesus, even when life gets complicated. In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul invites believers to follow his example as he follows Christ. That’s the kind of leadership we want to model. Not “Look how perfect my faith is.” But “Let me show you what it looks like to keep following Jesus.”
6. Partner with Parents Instead of Replacing Them
Here’s something youth pastors need to remember: We typically get a few hours a week with students. Parents and caregivers have significantly more influence over their everyday lives. That’s why helping students own their faith shouldn’t be something we try to accomplish alone. Deuteronomy 6:6–7 describes faith being passed along through everyday conversations: at home, along the road, when lying down, and when getting up. In other words, spiritual formation isn’t supposed to happen only during a scheduled church program.
Encourage parents to have faith conversations at home. Give them simple questions they can ask their teenagers. Help them understand that they don’t need a theology degree to disciple their kids. And remind parents that as their teenagers grow, their role needs to shift too. When kids are young, parents make most of their spiritual decisions for them. But as students mature, parents need to increasingly coach, encourage, and equip them to make those decisions themselves. Sometimes that means allowing teenagers to wrestle with their own questions instead of immediately jumping in to fix everything. Our job as youth workers isn’t to replace parents. It’s to come alongside them as we help students become lifelong followers of Jesus.
7. Celebrate Spiritual Growth, Not Just Spiritual Moments
I love camp like ASCENT. I love retreats, worship nights, mission trips (the most important), and those powerful moments when students respond to what God is doing in their lives. But we need to remember something.
A spiritual high isn’t the same thing as spiritual maturity.
A student crying during worship on Friday night can be a meaningful moment. But what happens when they return to school on Monday? Are they treating people differently? Are they making decisions that honor Jesus? Are they growing in their understanding of Scripture? Are they learning to love and serve others? Those are the things we should be celebrating too. Sometimes the biggest spiritual victory isn’t a student raising their hand during an invitation. Sometimes it’s a student choosing to forgive someone who hurt them.
Or opening their Bible without being reminded.
Or inviting a friend to church.
Or standing up for someone being bullied.
Or admitting they were wrong and asking for forgiveness.
Those moments might not make an exciting highlight video, but they’re evidence that faith is becoming personal. Galatians 5:22–23 reminds us that the fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. That’s what we want to see growing in our students.
The Goal Is Bigger Than Graduation
Here’s a question I’ve been thinking about as a youth pastor:
If our students graduated tomorrow and never attended another one of our youth ministry programs, would they know how to keep following Jesus?
Would they know how to study Scripture? Would they have the courage to ask difficult questions? Would they understand the importance of Christian community? Would they know how to share their faith and serve others? Or would their spiritual lives slowly fade because the program they depended on was gone? Our goal isn’t simply to create students who love youth group. Our goal is to help students love Jesus.
We want students who don’t just know what their youth pastor believes, but understand what they believe and why. Students who aren’t simply attending church because their parents make them, but who are learning to see the value of being part of the body of Christ. And ultimately, students who understand that following Jesus isn’t something they do for a few years during middle school and high school. It’s a lifelong journey. So keep planning great events. Keep making youth group fun. Keep teaching Scripture, building relationships, and creating opportunities for students to encounter Jesus. But through all of it, remember what we’re really trying to accomplish.
We’re not raising students to borrow our faith. We’re discipling students to own theirs.
And by God’s grace, that faith will continue growing long after they leave our youth ministries.
